Looking for Others to Recognize You?

Photo by David Stenbeck @dovneon on instagram

Photo by David Stenbeck @dovneon on instagram

Tell you what you can do? What you can achieve? How can they when they don’t know who you truly are and what you can do? You are the only one who can determine that.

How do you expect others to recognize you if they don’t have the wisdom you have?

We see our reflection in others. There were time in my life when I wasn’t recognizing myself. It’s still something I bring awareness too. I knew what I had to offer, but I wasn't owning it. Seeing it in myself. Still giving away my power to those I loved around me. They saw beautiful things in me, but not the extent of my capacity and what I could do. I don’t need to follow a traditional or “safe” life in a corporate. I can say with confidence now that I’m not meant to. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with a corporate life. That could be many people’s path and be very fulfilling. The thing we have to check in with is our internal compass and why we are doing something. Is it bringing joy? If not then we aren’t doing it for the right reason. For example - there are basketball players who love basketball so much and do it for the joy. Who are grateful. They are the ones that take time to sign autographs and give back. Then there are those who do it for the money or fame or because it makes their family “proud” of them. They are the ones that get lost in the image. Feel entitled to things because they “worked hard for it.” The resulting difference in true happiness inside is varied by these two examples. Not to judge as one way is good or bad. We all have done something of the sort in some area of our life. There is a difference in confidence and self worth and needing praise as validation. The person that is free in this scenario is doing this because it’s what they want to do. They are getting joy from this situation. Giving and Receiving.

The money will follow your true bliss. You will be cared for. Money is about flow. Allowing. Giving. And receiving. Not meant to control. Come from fear. Scarcity. Lack. There are millionaires and billionaires who are still poor. There are people who make money, but keep having to buy more things so they always remain poor. I saw this in corporate too. Saw managers wanting to keep the people in sales “hungry” by telling them to buy these big cars and houses once they got a large paycheck so their money would be gone again. There’s no judgment. You can have whatever you want. But do it for you. Not for others or for validation. I recently sold all of my designer things that I felt were controlling me. Things I had, but weren’t bringing me happiness. I only kept the pieces that I wasn’t attached too and if it got taken or I lost it I wouldn’t care. I realized I was so attached to a Chanel bag. Worrying about the logistics of traveling with it and leaving it behind. It was a symbol of my “hardwork” in corporate. I had always wanted a Chanel bag loving fashion growing up. But when I had it I felt like I should feel more happiness inside. But I felt nothing. It’s a pretty purse. Good quality. But I thought I should feel something more. I had always thought this would be the one thing I would keep forever. It was a surprise to me when I realized this was why I had to get rid of it. I didn’t want it controlling me. Am I saying I will never get Chanel or designer things again. I don’t know. I’m just releasing all attachment to things. I don’t want anything to own me. I will get something if I like it because I like it. But never become attached. This isn’t hate on designer things. I still have designer items. I like things that are good quality and will last. That are sustainable. But I’m not attached to it. If a Chanel purse really brings you joy then get it. Not telling everyone to get rid of things. But this bag was just a symbol really. It didn’t make me happy. As I cleaned out my closet I kept only the things that brought me joy - not because of what others would think but because I liked it. I got rid of things based on whether it did something for me instead of being based on is this a good investment or this purse is better etc.

Do it for you.

If something is owning you then you’re not free. If there are scarcity and lack programs then they will always exist no matter how much money you make. If you’re able to do work on it now - you’ll change the course of your life. To overcome this misconceptions will heal you from the inside out and allow you to creste a healthy relationship with money. You deserve whatever you want. You don’t have to be ashamed to want things or to be comfortable. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good person. It’s time to eliminate this frame of mind. This judgement on ourself and others. We need to take care of ourselves and treat ourselves how we want others to treat us. We are not meant to hoard and hold onto. It’s a reflection of not letting go of something inside. We don’t need things to prove our worth. They never will prove it to us. We are worthy because we are. I’m sorry that society made you believe that you had to do something to be worthy. You don’t need to do anything. You are worthy because you exist. Money, status, fame doesn’t prove it. And it will never achieve it for you unless you believe it inside. When you do believe it inside you will attract to you things that prove it in your reality because it resonates with your internal beliefs. But it’s about the inside matching the outside. Life is a mirror. Within and without. As above so below. 

Xo Jess 

When My Career Collapsed My Dream Career Came True

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If you would have talked to me a couple years ago I would have considered myself:

  • A hardworker

  • A go getter

  • Defined myself off of my successful career in tech and making 6 figures in my 20s

  • I always considered myself a positive person. Liked yoga and was kind of into meditation, but wouldn’t consider myself “super spiritual”. If you mentioned something about astrology or anything of this nature I would roll my eyes

  • Considered myself practical and that it lead to my success

I thought a career of climbing the corporate ladder was success. But when I saw that it didn’t matter how successful you were by whatever “measurements” a company held. That integrity and authenticity wasn’t always something that was recognized and could actually be perceived as a threat. People would rather do something safe even though it wasn’t best for the customers, employees and company because they would rather do something that they could perceivably “control.” That was “safe.”

That was when I hit my rock bottom.

After 7 years in a career I thought was going to be my life — I couldn’t see a way happily forward in this career path. The career path I had defined myself off of. God bless the people who “tormented” me because they became my saving grace to take my power back. I only send them the best. I do not share this to gossip or complain, but to show you that no matter where you are, or what situation you are in, you can overcome it.

There are two sides to every story and I’m sure they were acting in a way that they thought they were protecting themselves when in reality they were only hurting themselves. Acting from lack. Fear. Control. This is a whole nother story I could get into around the atmospheres many companies create. (Listen to my podcast with Erin Claire, Forbes featured Human Design reader, for more on this).

My awakening through this situation made me realize I had given my power and validation away to the matrix. To everything around me. I am very discerning with 5 planets in Capricorn, I don’t give my validation away to just anyone ;). But I gave it away to external measures of success. My mom raised me off of intrinsic motivation. There was no payment or gifts for good grades. It was for internal appreciation of self. But even when you are intrinsically motivated — there are still other ways you may be controlled that you’re blind to.

Life wanted to teach me that the only person I needed validation from was myself. After I overcame this situation. Stayed positive through the help of friends, co-workers and some angels in the form of new friends that came into my life — life started to shift my perspective. I got back to myself. Started doing things that filled me up. Had the best and most fun adventurous summer of my life. I started filling myself up. Allowing life to fill me up and not place it on accolades from a career or external sources. One of my close friends encouraged me to start a fashion blog because I had always loved fashion, but never pursued it because my upbringing showed me traditional success couldn’t come through this medium. That pursuing the arts was “silly”. You’d be “poor”. All of this lack mentality. Labels. Fear. Control.

I started my blog on the side and got so much joy that I stayed up late at night and on weekends to work on it. 6 months later this lead me to being connected to an iconic designer who saw the potential in me and offered me to manage and represent her. This was the universe giving me the green light to move forward and giving me encouragement to follow my heart. A couple months prior, I had my first astrology reading (this person came highly recommend by a group of people I trust) and found out from my astrologist I was going through this thing called a “Saturn return” where your life gets flipped upside down basically. It’s always for the better, but can be a hard time if you decide to fight it instead of see the beauty in the lessons it shares with us. I walked out of that astrology reading in a sense of wonder. This astrologist was also an intuitive medium. I had been to other perceived psychics for fun with friends and left with the feeling of vague words that didn’t fully resonate (As a side note- going to psychics isn’t something I recommend. Only go to people you highly research and can trust — as the co-creator of your life you only need people who empower you not determine your fate and create co-dependency). Anyways, back to the Astrology. In this session, she told me things only my closest family members could have known about my past. And things she told me about what I was going through and what I was going to go through that couldn’t have been told by anyone, but I felt in my gut the validity of what she was saying. The understanding and the acceptance for who I was. To stop trying to be like everyone else and to be myself.

The best thing you can do for yourself is let go of what everyone else is telling you. People give us advice from their heart, but it’s blocked by all of their life experiences. Ego. Limitations they have experienced. It is also shaded by what’s good for them. It’s rare that someone can give you unbiased advice with complete detachment of what could be good for you.

We’re all unique beings and when we can truly see this and respect it we can transcend all labels.

When we can see that we are all on unique and beautiful paths, then we can stop trying to be like each other and shine without a second thought. Roses all bloom without thoughts of shrinking or lessening themselves. Even if you are in a similar field to someone else, you will do it in a unique way that only YOU can do it. When we can stop competing, and start working together, we will all win.

Whether you believe in astrology or not- if you’re feeling lost and looking for some advice on how to get inspiration for a step to get back to yourself (career wise) you can look at your 10th house or mid-heaven which is what they call it in astrology. Do it for fun to get your creative juices flowing. You can go to cafeastrology.com and input your birth info to see your full chart. Google what your 10th house represents for career. My sun sign is Aquarius, but my Mid-heaven is Gemini which rules communication and partnerships. Partnership management was my specialty in tech and what got me to fashion. It’s what I can do now for my own business.

I started my podcast because I wanted to find a way to give back to anyone going through a perceived hard or dark time in their life. After what I had gone through I wanted everyone to know that nothing is holding you back.You can achieve whatever you want. And since the mind likes to see real life examples, I started to interview people from every field with all different backgrounds to show that we can all overcome the same things. That we all have the same “problems” or “perceived setbacks”, but when we set our mind on the fact that we ARE going to do something no matter what; then that is when we can get past all the things holding us back. I decided to start including people that could give us more tools to become more conscious humans in creating our reality. My podcast is called Reverie Vie: Create Your Reality — available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

I started to interview others to help us clear out the subconscious because the subconscious can hold us back.

The ego can hold us back. I learned from Shaman Durek the truth of the ego. The ego isn’t bad, but it is there to protect us. It waits for us to tell it what to do. If we say that life is hard, or that life is always this way. It will create all these scenarios to prove us right. We are the actor and director of our life. So if we want a different reality we need to start editing our thoughts and producing it in a different way. I learned about this through Dr. Joe Dispenza as well 4 years ago through his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, where he has done much research on the topic. But I found reading and learning about these topics — I now take them in on a completely different level than I did when I first read them. I find that even when something is profound, it has an even greater meaning when we go back to it later because we have grown to perceive it in a new way as well. Dr. Joe Dispenza started his journey first by healing himself. There is also an amazing documentary about this on Netflix called “Heal” which I highly recommend.

Back to the subconscious, 90% of our beliefs are solidified by the age of 7. So much of our beliefs of what we can do and what is possible is solidified at such a young age. This is all determined by our surroundings and society. No blame or shame on family or society because they are all a product of their history and so on. But you have the chance to break the cycle for yourself and others. To be an example — a beacon of light. We can all succeed. I hope my story brings light to this.

I’m doing this now through my podcast and helping other to shift their perspectives. The best messages I get are when people send me a note telling me that I have changed their thoughts and perspectives. Opened their mind to a new way. That I’ve made a positive impact on their life. To me that is the greatest gift.

I’m starting something this year to help you in a more profound way, so stay tuned. You can subscribe on my website reverievie.com so you’re kept up to date when this releases.

Sending everyone so much love on your journey whatever stage you are in. If you’re at a tough point right now- it’s life pushing you to take the next step to receive what you’ve been asking for. Life will continue to push us because it only wants the best for us. Know that you are the light and getting back to what lights you up is the key to self discovery. For inspiration, look at your midheaven in astrology whether you believe in astrology or not. Not because this is the only thing you can do in your life, but it can spark ideas for you. Start doing things for fun. Think of 6 impossible things before breakfast like Shaman Durek told me which he got from Alice and Wonderland. I created a pdf sharing How to Change Your Career in 5 Easy Steps. You get this when you subscribe to my newsletter. But really, all you have to do is start. Stay curious and open. Think about what you would do all day long, but think no one would pay you for. Think about something that everyone in your life always comes to you for.

Sending everyone love. Comment and let me know a profound change you’ve gone through in your life.

Share this article if you feel called to or think it could help someone in your life.

Xo Jess

Reflecting on 2018


2018 taught me sometimes you need to go backwards to go forward.

I like to spend the new year reflecting back on the year. The ups and downs. Everything I’m grateful for. You don’t need a new year to start over. But it’s symbolic and allows for a collective change. 
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Things I learned in 2018.

  • How to let go. Someone wise shared with me the saying “Trust and the net will catch you”, which helped me make a choice in a difficult time.

  • Let life surpris you- I never knew I would end my year in Paris. But sometimes life has a different plan for you that’s better than you could have imagined.

  • That friends can be angels in your life.

  • That a location can teach you so much- moving to LA I have met so many people that share my same passions and have opened my mind up to greater things. So happy for everything I have learned and excited for what the new year will bring.

  • Everything this year hasn’t been easy. Things moved slower than I had hoped many times. It can be hard as a planner and a go getter. But it allowed me to go back and learn some lessons I still needed to learn, and reflect on things I needed.
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2018 taught me that sometimes you have to go backwards to move forward. What lesson are you grateful for that 2018 taught you?

Why The Tech Industry Isn't What You Think


Ever wonder what a career in the Tech Industry really looks like? Many don't know these roles that exist, or have stereotypes around who these roles are made for. We talk about some of the barriers to entry, and how we can overcome these. I dig in deep with the CEO of the National SSE, Yvette Edwards, who also happens to be my mom. You'll see how she inspires me, and a tribute to my grandparents (her parents) who risked it all to escape communism. Twice.

Here it all in our Podcast Episode Here. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wear-to-work/id1435407968?mt=2#episodeGuid=Buzzsprout-883142

If you enjoy it, please rate and review. Also, share with anyone that you think may benefit from this episode. We do this to expand the options of roles available to all. Start a dialog for change. Would love to hear what you think.

xx Jess

My Mom’s Parents - My Grandparents

My Mom’s Parents - My Grandparents

Yvette Edwards and Jess Lynn (Mom and Me)

Yvette Edwards and Jess Lynn (Mom and Me)

This is the Number 1 Sign It’s Time To Change Careers

I was 28 years old and working in tech. I had skyrocketing up the ladder putting my life into my work. It wasn’t an easy feat as most of my peers were in their 40s and had worked their life to get to this same point in their career. It was at this point in my life when I realized I couldn’t see this as my future anymore.

I don’t mean any disrespect as everyone has a different timeline in life. Everyone has different priorities in life. For some, it is a steady job for their family or flexibility to live their own life. When I started in the corporate world I had an amazing mentor who was a VP at the company. He believed in young achievers. He had children himself and many daughters, so he was a big advocate of mentoring young talent. He wasn’t stuck in his old ways. Would call and ask for opinions. As a 22 year old out of college I thought I had no opinions to offer. I was shy and grateful to have a job at a great company. I had some internship experience, but I didn’t think I had thoughts of value yet to offer a VP. But luckily, he did see what I couldn’t see in myself. When we spoke he would ask me my opinions. He would ask about different strategies I may have learned in school or case studies I may have read. I learned that I did have something to offer. I had a unique point of view that wasn’t tainted by process or groupthink.

It was starting off in this way that made me realize I had ideas of value. We all do. As I grew farther in my career though, I realized some companies don’t want your ideas. Some bosses want you to follow protocol and process. It’s how they were raised to see how a company functions. There are many different view points. This was one that did not feel right to me. It’s important to check in and see what is right for you.

What’s a top indicator that a space isn’t built for growth?

No safe space for failure.

Making no safe space for failure is the number 1 indicator it’s time to leave. There really is no such thing as failure. Failure is from a mindset, an opinion that may not be able to see the whole picture of what is being created. What is really going on behind the scenes. Instead we want to stay in a curious mindset. See everything as an indictor getting us closer to what we want to create. Seeing everything as gifts of growth. If you are looking for innovation, a mindset that looks for the known is not for you. Today, many companies have broken cultures. It’s the ones that are solving for this that are growing and will continue to grow.

I understand for many corporations it’s about scale. But I see increased “processes” in corporations lead to mediocrity. I don’t mean when it comes to things like finance and accounting, or best practices. But for skills that thrive on creativity and new approaches. For example roles like sales, partnerships, communication, and marketing to name a few. If some people can do something better and faster using their own method you should let them. Don’t stifle innovation. My mom is my greatest influence. She encouraged my innovation from a young age and always treated my thoughts with respect.

I had a wake up call at 28 that I was doing this for all the wrong reasons. I was making great money, but I wasn’t happy anymore. I used to love my job, but the culture was not resonating with me. I had to stop and ask myself: “Why am I doing something that I’m not even sure I love?”

I had always been in love with the arts from a young age. I loved to always create and think outside of the box. This is when I realized I had started to change myself too much to be who a company wanted me to be. If a company doesn’t celebrate unique differences and you lose yourself. It’s time to stop and think. Nothing is worth losing who you are. Instead it’s time we wake up to seeing there is innate value in different traits. Teams that are more diverse (via gender, culture, etc.) wind up making companies more prosperous.

Everything in my life had to happen how it did for me to get to this point in my life. I had to learn the skills I learned in Tech to allow me to then transition to what I am doing now. I now have the experience of working with Fortune 500 companies in the tech industry. I know how to grow partnerships. Life lesson are priceless if we pay attention. If you’re graduating college and reading this, my wish is that you learn from my experience. If you’re well into your career now, my greatest wish for you is to realize it is never too late. Now is the time in your life when you can make a change. If you’re in a company whose culture doesn’t value differences. Whose culture doesn’t have a supportive atmosphere for failure. Then these are the key signs that this company isn’t innovating. It’s burying the problems and is not learning to fail fast, so it can get on to succeeding. Wishing you all the best in your journeys and would love to hear your personal stories.

If you found this article helpful, or you think it could help someone else – please feel free to share.

I recently did an Ask Me Anything on Changing Your Career. Below are some of the questions I received and answers I gave.

You can check out the full AMA here.

But here are some snippets..

MITCH OLIVAR
When looking for a new career path, what is the most important thing to be taken into consideration?

REVERIE VIE

Hi Mitch,

Great question. It’s asking yourself what is the most important to you. Is it doing somethign you love, making a certain salary, having flexbility in work? For me it was doing somethign that I was passionate about, and being able to use my skills to go off on my own. What is most important is going to be different to everyone. Making a list of what matters most would be the first step. Then starting to find careers that fit into what hits your top list.


MARIJA13
What is the best advice you can give someone that is considering changing careers?

REVERIE VIE
Thanks for your question. I would say to start to look at why you want to leave your current career. Make a list of what your ideal role would be. Then start by finding roles that fit your list. Enlist your network in helping you out once you find out what it is that you want to do. You never know who may have access to careers, experience or contacts that may be of interest. A lot can be your extended network or friends of friends  that may be able to connect you with someone who can help to you to transition.

ENA DIANE PASA
How hard was it for you to start again from zero? What would you have done differently?

REVERIE VIE

Hi Ena,

Thanks for your questions. It wasn’t as hard as most people would think. I dont believe you ever start at zero. Any expereince you have an one career can be applied and transfered to a different industry. I believe it’s taking what you know and using that to slowly transition into your next career.


AE ELNAR
What age is too late for one to change careers?

REVERIE VIE

Great question.

It’s never too late! That’s the number 1 thing I’d love to share with everyone. Throughout history people have changed careers late in life. Martha Stewart was a wall street trader and wrote her first book in her 40’s which then lead to her domestic success. Vera Wang became a fashion designer in her 40s. Charles Darwin was 50 years old before he published his findings that made him famous today. I believe all skills transfer. It’s about passion, drive, and believing in yourself to take the chance. Much success!

JAUSTRIA
Did you ever fear that you won’t be successful in your new career?

REVERIE VIE

Of course. There are always fears and risk. I was told if it doesn’t scare you, then you shouldn’t do it. Use discomfort as your radar. You have to get uncomfrotable to get comfortable again. Your tolerance expands overtime and success becomes more rewarding. Success isn’t absent of failure, but it is not giving up in the face of it. Everyone is going to fail, but it is the ones who don’t give up and keep going that ultimately succeed.

IAMEVILLETA
Is it uncommon for people in their 20’s to change careers?

REVERIE VIE

I think many people may change jobs, but not careers. In most cases, when people have a feeling of being “invested” in any career - that they have spent time, effort and money in – they feel that they cannot change. Anytime people invest- they feel the cost of change means they lost out on everything they invested in. There is a term in economics called “sunk cost” that describes this. We can use the example of standing in line at a grocery store, say there is a long line that you have been waiting in it. But then another line seems to be going faster- you could either hop lines and go next or you could continue to wait in your line even though it is going slower but feel you have to stay in the slow line because you have already invested so much time in waiting. In life many get scared about wasted time. It’s about changing this mindset. I dont believe there is a such thing as wasted time and effort because I believe all skills transfer.

How Kelvin Harris Is Designing For All

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Kelvin, Chicago Fashion Designer, discusses how Chicago differs from other fashion markets. How he got into the fashion industry, his advice for designers just starting out, and how he designs for different body types!

Here are his sites:

http://www.kelvineugeneharris.com
http://humanflesh.us
https://blackstamp.net

Check out our interview below. Let us know your thoughts and tips you have for those trying to get into fashion designs!