Looking for Others to Recognize You?

Photo by David Stenbeck @dovneon on instagram

Photo by David Stenbeck @dovneon on instagram

Tell you what you can do? What you can achieve? How can they when they don’t know who you truly are and what you can do? You are the only one who can determine that.

How do you expect others to recognize you if they don’t have the wisdom you have?

We see our reflection in others. There were time in my life when I wasn’t recognizing myself. It’s still something I bring awareness too. I knew what I had to offer, but I wasn't owning it. Seeing it in myself. Still giving away my power to those I loved around me. They saw beautiful things in me, but not the extent of my capacity and what I could do. I don’t need to follow a traditional or “safe” life in a corporate. I can say with confidence now that I’m not meant to. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with a corporate life. That could be many people’s path and be very fulfilling. The thing we have to check in with is our internal compass and why we are doing something. Is it bringing joy? If not then we aren’t doing it for the right reason. For example - there are basketball players who love basketball so much and do it for the joy. Who are grateful. They are the ones that take time to sign autographs and give back. Then there are those who do it for the money or fame or because it makes their family “proud” of them. They are the ones that get lost in the image. Feel entitled to things because they “worked hard for it.” The resulting difference in true happiness inside is varied by these two examples. Not to judge as one way is good or bad. We all have done something of the sort in some area of our life. There is a difference in confidence and self worth and needing praise as validation. The person that is free in this scenario is doing this because it’s what they want to do. They are getting joy from this situation. Giving and Receiving.

The money will follow your true bliss. You will be cared for. Money is about flow. Allowing. Giving. And receiving. Not meant to control. Come from fear. Scarcity. Lack. There are millionaires and billionaires who are still poor. There are people who make money, but keep having to buy more things so they always remain poor. I saw this in corporate too. Saw managers wanting to keep the people in sales “hungry” by telling them to buy these big cars and houses once they got a large paycheck so their money would be gone again. There’s no judgment. You can have whatever you want. But do it for you. Not for others or for validation. I recently sold all of my designer things that I felt were controlling me. Things I had, but weren’t bringing me happiness. I only kept the pieces that I wasn’t attached too and if it got taken or I lost it I wouldn’t care. I realized I was so attached to a Chanel bag. Worrying about the logistics of traveling with it and leaving it behind. It was a symbol of my “hardwork” in corporate. I had always wanted a Chanel bag loving fashion growing up. But when I had it I felt like I should feel more happiness inside. But I felt nothing. It’s a pretty purse. Good quality. But I thought I should feel something more. I had always thought this would be the one thing I would keep forever. It was a surprise to me when I realized this was why I had to get rid of it. I didn’t want it controlling me. Am I saying I will never get Chanel or designer things again. I don’t know. I’m just releasing all attachment to things. I don’t want anything to own me. I will get something if I like it because I like it. But never become attached. This isn’t hate on designer things. I still have designer items. I like things that are good quality and will last. That are sustainable. But I’m not attached to it. If a Chanel purse really brings you joy then get it. Not telling everyone to get rid of things. But this bag was just a symbol really. It didn’t make me happy. As I cleaned out my closet I kept only the things that brought me joy - not because of what others would think but because I liked it. I got rid of things based on whether it did something for me instead of being based on is this a good investment or this purse is better etc.

Do it for you.

If something is owning you then you’re not free. If there are scarcity and lack programs then they will always exist no matter how much money you make. If you’re able to do work on it now - you’ll change the course of your life. To overcome this misconceptions will heal you from the inside out and allow you to creste a healthy relationship with money. You deserve whatever you want. You don’t have to be ashamed to want things or to be comfortable. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good person. It’s time to eliminate this frame of mind. This judgement on ourself and others. We need to take care of ourselves and treat ourselves how we want others to treat us. We are not meant to hoard and hold onto. It’s a reflection of not letting go of something inside. We don’t need things to prove our worth. They never will prove it to us. We are worthy because we are. I’m sorry that society made you believe that you had to do something to be worthy. You don’t need to do anything. You are worthy because you exist. Money, status, fame doesn’t prove it. And it will never achieve it for you unless you believe it inside. When you do believe it inside you will attract to you things that prove it in your reality because it resonates with your internal beliefs. But it’s about the inside matching the outside. Life is a mirror. Within and without. As above so below. 

Xo Jess 

How Kelvin Harris Is Designing For All


Kelvin, Chicago Fashion Designer, discusses how Chicago differs from other fashion markets. How he got into the fashion industry, his advice for designers just starting out, and how he designs for different body types!

Here are his sites:


Check out our interview below. Let us know your thoughts and tips you have for those trying to get into fashion designs!

CS Magazine Release Party - What You Do Matters


CS Magazine held a great event for the release of their August issue. Was great to meet with other innovators and creators of the city. Love the innovation and energy Chicago has to offer. Was an honor to share in inspiring moments. Everything we do. Everywhere we go has a chance to shape us and those around us. What you do matters. There is nothing too small. This world wouldn’t be the same without you. xo


No Fast Fashion and Fast Food: A Story of 3.1 Phillip Lim’s CEO’s Rise to Success

I had the wonderful opportunity to see the CEO of 3.1 Phillip Lim, Wen Zhou, speak. When I read her bio about how she was an immigrant from China who had built herself from the ground up – I could understand her story was one of a strong women who had defied the odds. I didn’t realize though how charming and inspiring she was going to be. She uses her humor and light heartedness to get her through the hard times.  My grandfather is an immigrant from China, so I could already relate to her story.

Hearing stories of other success, helps us to realize there is no straight line or path to follow. You must build a clearing where there is no path if you want to accomplish something truly unique. Something that has never been done before.

I got to soho house early for her talk, and sat in the front of course. She came in with a lovely red blouse of 3.1 Phillips Lim’s own design of course, and boyfriend style jeans with zippers on the sides. She wore a white jacket over her shoulders as well.

Early life

Wen Zhou then spoke of her life and how she got to where she was today, while also discussing her opinions of the current fashion marketplace. Wen grew up in a small village in China. Food like eggs were an extravagance not available in her village. It was something that was had on ones birthday as they were a rarity. When her parents wanted to move to the US for a better life, they were able to convince her when they told her she would be able to have eggs everyday for breakfast. An idea she couldn’t imagine.

Moving to the US

Her family then moved the US. Wen talks about how she worked in the factories sewing in her early teens. She then moved on to work at McDonalds. She was such an efficient mathematician at the register that she was able to speed through customers at such a pace that increased their sales tremendously. Due to this skill, she was  promoted to assistant manager and then manager quickly. She then wound up hiring all of her Chinese friends from the sewing factories that she knew were good at math. She put the quick people in the front to man the registers and the slower people in the back to man other things like cleaning up. Their McDonalds then became the most profitable in NYC. This just shows her ingenuity from a young age. She then went into working at a private company selling materials to fashion brands. She again became the best, had the most sales, but then when a male new hire came into the company- she realized she was being paid half of what he was making. When she asked the mangers, they said it was because “he had a family to support.” Wen, decided to leave and start her own business due to the connections she had made, and the fashion brands who trusted her exclusively. She was able to leave and start her own company with the support of her customers because of the trust they had in her.

"Never work with people who are assholes" 

Wen’s advice is to never work with people who are assholes. She said the most important thing is to create good relationships. She then went on to meet Phillip Lim, they wound up partnering together and the rest is history. When trying to name the brand, they started throwing around different ideas. They were both 31 at the time, but they decided to add a dot in the middle due to the internet boom at the time. There was the creation of 3.1 Phillip Lim.

"Their motto is 'no fast fashion and no fast food' in order to create a more sustainable world."

3.1 Phillip Lim was built off of the idea of craftsmanship fashion that was affordable. Their moto is “no fast fashion and no fast food” in order to create a more sustainable world. Phillip and Wen have also gone back to their roots in China to create jobs in nice factories that pay well. They have supported a whole village by opening a factory. The people in this town put love and care into the clothes. They take pride in their work because Wen and team take care of them. Wen and Phillip go back to China to visit the factory often. They do this to help the economy of China, and gives them joy to give back to where they have come from.

“Think of your career as a jungle gym, not a ladder, because otherwise you’ll always be starting at someone’s ass.”

Wen had great advice for daily life as well. She said her family has eliminated talk of first world problems. For example, they don’t spend time complaining to each other about how their uber was late that day or they had to wait in line at the grocery store. Life is too short to focus on these small inconveniences. People always ask her how she makes time for family, career (being CEO) and life in general. She said you can fit it all in. Don’t try to be perfect or a helicopter parent. Also, to take 15 mins a day to your self. She will lay down in a quite space for 15 minutes of peace to rejuvenate each day. Her final piece of advice was how we should think of our career as a jungle gym, not a ladder, because otherwise you’ll always be staring at someones ass. 

That quote shows her sense of humor and joyous attitude she takes in her everyday life. You can tell she doesn’t take life or herself too seriously, which seems to be the secret.

We were able to attend a trunk show afterwards where I was able to pick up some great pieces. 3.1 Phillip Lim has become a new favorite brand of mine. The heart and intent of their company is very pure. They are looking to make better fashion, bring back craftsmanship, and add unique details to the everyday essentials. They believe great fashion should still be affordable and they are proving it through their brand.